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Broughton 58 - 0
Cumnock
Broughton ended the season on a high as they brushed aside
Cumnock 58-0 in the basement battle at Wardie on April Fools Day.
A match containing two of the three
basement clubs was never likely to be billed as a classic and that was
the case!
Chris O'Neill started his first game of
the season after his wee run out last week at Lenzie and Rosco Brown
made the short journey from Raeburn Place to make his comeback
appearance following shoulder surgery.
Steve 'Duvet' Duval didn't make it to the
game as his body clock hadn't recovered from his 12 hour nightshift so
that meant it was the Triple D's in the front row.
The pitch was extremely sticky underfoot
due to the rain which had swept the City during the week, but the
overnight conditions had helped devoid the park of any surface water.
If the Sky Sports team had come down, it
would have been interesting to see the possession stats in the opening
15 minutes with Broughton camped in the Cumnock 22 but frustratingly
nothing to show for their dominance.
Thankfully the deadlock was broken a
minute later. A Broughton scrum deep in the Cumnock 22 was used
effectively and from the resultant maul, McFARLANE bounced over from,
oh, lets say a generous yard to open the scoring. 5-0
The floodgates looked like the padlock was
about to come off them just 2 minutes later when Hart received the ball
from the restart and as he trundled up the wing, he put in a delightful
grubber kick for MADDISON who out paced the Cumnock full back (No,
honest, he really did) and the referee deemed that the Broughton man had
downward pressure on the ball for a score. 10-0
Cumnock got a quick opportunity to pull
the score back when they were awarded a kick at goal after Broughton
were deemed offside, but the kicker didn't have the legs to push it over
the sticks.
The half-hour mark came and so did
Broughton's 3rd try. Baxter was held up short after another
dynamic driving maul and Arrandale opened up the play to Matthews who
produced a long pass out to BROWN for a score in the corner. Sadly
readers, this isn't the part where you say, "My God, he was retiring a
couple of weeks back". The Brown in question is Ross Brown from
Raeburn Place who is coming back from a lengthy time on the sidelines
through injury. 15-0.
It could and should have been another
score 3 minutes from the break. Broughton dragged a hapless
Cumnock defensive line across the width of the park with 3 loop passes
orchestrated by Matthews. Unfortunately for the spectators on the
far touchline who had a better view of this one, Hough couldn't get his
boots out of the quagmire enough to jump the height of a rizla paper to
catch it and run in with the try line beckoning. Perhaps the fear
of having to buy a jug was at the back of his mind all along....
Broughton secured the bonus point on the
half-time hooter, when Comeback King O'NEILL burst through a saloon door
style double tackle effort from two Cumnock defenders who didn't know if
it was man, mountain or an exocet missile coming at them! Half - Time
20-0.
You may have wondered why there was no
mention of the conversion attempts at the end of each first half score.
I will leave PAYNE to talk you through them. Apparently it was the
wrong type of mud on the park or something....
The second half saw tactical changes with
Wilson coming on for Nicolson, Bombhead on for Hough and Wells for
O'Neill.
It was try time again 5 minutes from the
restart. MADDISON was on the board again this time after being put
in from the architectural hands of Matthews who marshalled the back-line
effectively all day. Maddison touched down in the corner, despite
the best efforts of the Cumnock guy with his erm, unorthodox foot first
sliding tackle! 25-0.
MATTHEWS got his reward with a try for his
hard work 5 minutes later. He run in unopposed, which by this
point was a feature in a match that had it been a boxing match, it would
have been all over by now. 30-0. Kicking duties were handed
over to ARRANDALE who slotted over a fine conversion from a tight
touchline spot. 32-0.
Cumnock were the walking wounded and
despite coming along with a full compliment of 18 players, they had
managed to whittle down to 13 by this stage. Nicolson and O'Neill
kindly offered to swap sides to make a meaningful contest for the
remaining part of the match.
BROWN added to his earlier score shortly
after as he waltzed through a MIA defence to stoll in under the
uprights. 37-0. ARRANDALE duly converted. 39-0.
56 minutes on the clock and perhaps the
slowest try of the day! McFarlane and Pyper both made great yards
up the middle of the park and from a maul on the Cumnock 22, yes 22,
BAXTER ran, no wait - I cannot justify the usage of the word ran here,
in slow motion it was hard to believe that no-one could catch the Flying
Ulsterman! 44-0. ARRANDALE converted to make it 46-0.
Payne gifted Bombhead his first League try
for the Club and the right to buy a jug for the privilege on the hour
mark. Payne's run allowed him the Freedom of Wardie and MALCOLM
(yes, Bombhead actually has a real name!) was in support and Payne
unselfishly popped the ball to the youngster a whole yard out.
51-0. MALCOLM converted his own score by virtue of a drop goal.
53-0.
HART had the last laugh on the 66th minute
when he concluded the scoring for the season. Brown opened up the
tired visitor's line and as he released Bombhead for what looked like
his second score but he didn't have the legs and he allowed Hart to go
over from 5 yards. 58-0.
The referee called the game to a halt at
this point as common sense prevailed. No benefit to any side was
being had and as there was nothing at stake, this was the right
decision. No 200 point drubbings, no glory hunting headline acts,
just plain old decency which should be applauded.
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